Dropping the Z-Word

On You-Know-Whom

I didn’t want to bring this up during Memorial Day weekend, for reasons that will be obvious. But did no one else notice what Trump wrote last week? In the title to a fund-raising email? An email in which he took as proven the groundless notion that the Biden administration tried to have him killed?

Trump wrote this:

“I nearly escaped death.”

Well.

To nearly escape death is not to escape it. And dead men tell no tales. So how can Trump’s assertion have been made by anyone either living or dead? He is decidedly not a fallen soldier who speaks to us in memory from the grave. He is on record as having no respect, even, for fallen heroes.

So what is he?

Revenant? In a sense, yes — keeps coming back. Check.

A rampant flesh-eater? Check.

Subject to wild desires? Check.

Uncannily relentless? Check.

Free from social conventions? Able to infect swarms of other people orally? Likely to lead to the collapse of civilization? Check, check, and check.

Do I have to spell it out?

Donald Trump is a zombie.

It explains so much.

And now, another in our

series of limericks about

deplorable males:

Roscoe, when told he was “Surly,”

Said “How would you have me be? Girly?

Amenable? Sweet?

Light on my feet?

I’m fragile, okay? And built burly.”