Whoever Screamed

Warning: UNFAIR TO THE PRESIDENT

Howard Lutnick, Trump’s billionare Secretary of Commerce, was asked last week how people might be affected by the new government’s mucking about in their entitlements. Replied Lutnick: “Let’s say Social Security didn’t send out their checks this month. My mother-in-law is 94. She wouldn’t call and complain. She just wouldn’t. She would think something got messed up and she’ll get it next month. A fraudster always makes the loudest noise screaming, yelling and complaining. The easiest way to find a fraudster is to stop payments and listen. Whoever screamed is the one stealing.”

Most obviously, this is a baldface case of aliis ex parte sui — judging others from the viewpoint of oneself. (I can’t find a Latin version of judging others from the viewpoint of one’s affluent mother-in-law.)

But just as obviously, who in America today is making “the loudest noise screaming, yelling and complaining?” Ergo, who most fits Lutnick’s definition of a fraudster?

“Nobody gets treated worse than I do online. Nobody.” “I have been attacked more than anybody in the history of our country. The great Al Capone was attacked only a small fraction of what I was attacked.”

Maybe Capone didn’t steal as much.

And by the way, if you were an astronaut stuck up in space, would you want to come back to earth now?

And From Quite Another Quarter,

Here Is Another in Our Series of

Limericks About Deplorable Men

Tortured by flatulence, Rourke

Tried plugging himself with a cork.

       But even that popped!

      His poots can’t be stopped —

They have volume, intensity, torque!