There Once Was a Fellow

I’m declaring a moratorium on Trump. He makes everything that touches him weird and nasty. Let the legal system deal with him for a while. And here are eight bright shiny limericks, about other objectionable men:

"If I can have two romances,

Concurrently," reasons Francis,

        "I may find true love

        In neither thereof,

But surely I'll double my chances."       
          

Says a woozy old fellow named Scott            

Who is tipsy more often than not,

            "I guess I should pass

            On that seventeenth glass,

But nothing else quite hits the spot."    

"I," says a fellow named Lloyd,

"Am someone it's best to avoid.

            And you want to know why?

            Because . . . because I

Am chronically vaguely annoyed."

A scary-eyed fellow named Bart             

Was brought up never to fart.            

            Not even in private.

            That's stress. To survive it

He practices mystical art.

"I," says a fellow named Des,

"Don't care what anyone says,

            Nothing's as smart         

            In the costumer's art            

As a big maroon sash and a fez."    

A genie empowered Clark    
To overhear every remark	
	Ever made about him.
	The consensus is grim,
But there's no one so not in the dark!

"So I told this young fellow named Hubie,

In carnal relations a newbie,             

            'Though it's nice you're impressed,   

            I prefer the term 'breast,'      

And how big a booby might you be?'"

That resolute bachelor, Brad,

Who dismissed fatherhood as "a fad,"

            Now is alone,

            Except for his phone,

And no longer can pass for a lad.