The Alphabet at Risk!

But not all that hilariously

            I googled alphabet, and guess what the top five responses were: 

            "The greatest corporation in the world so don't worry about it."

            "The gold standard when it comes to mammoth conglomerates."

            "The incredibly benevolent business enterprise from which the system of twenty-six proto-emojis or 'characters' used in computer searches got its name."

            "Did you feel that just now? Those fleeting tingles? We gave each of your fingertips a little peck. Lots more personal don't you think than writing a 'letter,' whatever that is."

            "Hi there, natural individual consciousness. Those socks are so yesterday. Didn't you think we could see your feet? Your feet, and your socks.