Let's Clear Something Up

A Misconception. About Al

It's not one guy, you know. I know it looks like it, in this skinny sans-serif type:

            Al. Al is going to change all of our lives so that we will never, ever recognize them, or each other’s again. But Al will.

            Ask yourself this: How could one guy, named Al or whatever, be available at once to millions -- okay billions, okay trillions, okay googols (woops!) -- of people at once? 

            Bing — okay, Bing is one guy, true, and that adds some confusion.

But Bing, however you type him, is Bing. Al, properly represented, is capital letter A, period, capital letter I, and another period. The initials of Artificial Intelligence.

            You accept that there’s no one-real-guy Santa, right? Or Santos. And Allen Iverson retired years ago. Those guys contained multitudes, perhaps, but this Al, supposedly, can “generate text,” in your name, in five different “tones — 'professional,' 'casual,' 'enthusiastic,' informational,' or 'funny' --

            Whaaaaaa?

            AND NOW, A LIMERICK THAT SHOULD SETTLE THIS:

                        Says a Hollywood legend named Hal,

                        To his would-be replacement named Al:       

                                    "Don't try to tangle

                                    With the humorous angle.

                        Ever catch me joking, pal?"