I Guess It Takes All Kinds
To Make a World
"A liberal," says a quote attributed to Robert Frost, "is someone who is too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel."
Pronoun alert!
Someone who is too broadminded to take their own side in a quarrel?
No, doesn't work.
Someone who is too broadminded to take his or her own side in a quarrel?
No. How can I justify speaking, even fifty-fifty, as a woman?
Let's say this: A liberal is someone who, when [pronoun] hears a liberal defined as "someone who is too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel," thinks:
That's a pretty good one, heh-heh. Except for the pronoun.
Before the pronoun issue arose, liberalism had more, I don't know, dash. But we liberals have always been put down, from the left and the right.
And we could take it, graciously. With a wink. Because here's what we had going for us:
Sex, drugs, peace, love and rock 'n' roll.
Sex?
You betcha. Radicals prioritized causes, conservatives were uptight. We were just about right. Now liberals cancel other liberals who get sex wrong.
You know who is streaking now? Not just all the proud foes of imaginary pedophilia, but also that golden couple Donald Trump Jr. and Kimberly Guilfoyle. And even that Congressman the wheelchair libertine -- sure, he got too kinky even for a Christian conservative, but he had a certain swag, which the right TV audience will forgive him for lucratively in time.
What do liberals have in this department, today? Aside from ample occasions to swear, quite rightly, "No, we are not pedophiles," we have -- and I say this in all respect and even with something approaching warmth -- Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren. And, yes, the Squad. Who are severely beautiful. But it’s the heedless blonde reactionaries who are fronting irrational culturo-sexual leverage. Which is the only kind of culturo-sexual leverage that counts.
So -- want to transition to gender, quickly? Noooo.
Drugs?
I remember pot and even coke being aspects of freedom. Now drugs are fentanyl. Opiate of the masses, yet an issue for Republicans.
Peace?
Hey, we're helping brave Ukrainians defend themselves against evil Putin, and good for us. But: the carnage, the rubble, and how will it end? Back in the day, being liberal meant keeping young Americans out of Vietnam. Today the face of antiwar, aside from the Pope, the puckish face, is Tucker Carlson.
Love?
A poignant example, today, is Joe Biden's for both of his sons, particularly the living one. Think Donald Trump would love a liability son? But wouldn’t you think it would be one of his sons who’d forget where he left a laptop loaded with — Aaach!
Rock 'n' Roll?
Liberals could dig Sly and the Family Stone and feel down with black people. Black people may not have felt we were down with them as much as we felt we were, but they didn't tell us that, so much, then.
Now there is rap. The other day a rapper called Young Thug was charged with organizing a criminal street gang called Young Slime Life. Can a liberal want any of that to rub off on [pronoun]?
And Now, Another Fresh-Squeezed Limerick
About a Regrettable Man
A consumer of e-mail named Sam
Reads only what's labeled as spam:
"It moves me, it taunts me,
It clearly wants me.
It reaches me right where I am."
Very enjoyable. Thank you.
Liberals are for politeness and consideration over rudeness and liberals prefer to be kind (even to mean people, which can be a bit of a drawback). (It is polite to address people as they expect to be addressed and it is polite to keep your nose out of their beeswax if they are keeping said beeswax to themselves.)
These are all attractive traits, but quiet ones. I wonder, though, if there are some simple ways to turn up the volume on them a little. I should blog about them, maybe.