Could've Been Anybody

Except for These Folks

            "The glass breaks out, you can hear bullets slinging by," says Jerry Patterson, who at about 8 a.m. Tuesday morning was monitoring, as usual, his trucking company's CB-radio traffic. Two bullets had entered the rear window of the cab of one of his trucks and exited through the driver's side window, missing the driver by inches.

            If the fully-loaded truck had veered out of control in rush-hour traffic . . .  Patterson shudders to imagine:

            "Seventy-four thousand pounds would have killed everyone around. They'd still be cleaning up bodies."

            New Orleans police said they suspected, as usual, "road rage," some kind of feud. Since the beginning of the year there have been at least ten incidents of someone being not just shot at, but shot, on I-10. Hey, it's the Interstate, what are gonna do?

            Like hey, it's Chinatown, in the movie. 

            Patterson says no. "There is no beef here." His company's truck was traveling in the right-hand lane and the bullets entered from the right. "It had to be from a house, the woods."

            The two shots, Patterson told the local Times Picayune, "were so close together they appeared to enter through the same oblong hole. It's two bullets squeezed together -- boom boom. To kill somebody."

            Just anybody?

            Not J. L. L. She "entered into eternal rest” a few days before, according to her obituary in the Times Picayune, and here is how it happened: "God saw you getting tired, and a cure was not to be, so he put his arms around you and whispered, 'Come to me.'"

            Not J. B. He "went to be with the Lord" in April, according to his obit. He was "gainfully employed as a Carpenter for many years and took pride in being able to support his family. He was so passionate about what he did that even on his days off and after retirement, he would continue to construct different things."

            Not M. B., "who peacefully left this earth to be with her heavenly Father at the age of 7l." In college she "quenched her thirst for adventure by participating in two semesters abroad as she traveled the world on World Campus Afloat."

            Not F. X. H. III, who "enjoyed traveling the world, spending time with family and friends, and being an avid outdoorsman."

            Not S. S. H., who "was hospitalized at Slidell Memorial Hospital several months before she was called on home." She was survived by a daughter named Rochynique.

            Not E. C. G., who "passed into eternal rest" last week. Her surviving grandchildren include Que' Shawn, Que' Dyn, Que' Elle, Que' Lah, Que' Juan and Que' Lahil.

            Not I. M. C. S.: "God decided He needed another rose for his heavenly bouquet and He reached down and took our beloved mother, grandmother, sister, aunt, cousin and dear friend to add to this beautiful floral arrangement. . . . She loved to feed people; they would come from miles around for her crawfish bisque!"

            Not J. S. B. , who "had a remarkable ability to look at life with unwavering optimism and positivity. Most memories of her will be filled with lots of humor and laughter which were her finest traits. If she were to leave any words to those she loved it would be 'To live life to the fullest and definitely dance in the rain.'" She had "a fur baby named Jaxx and a fur grandchild, Rosie." She "passed away peacefully at home."

            Not -- and here I quote the full name, I hope not disrespectfully, because it is mysterious: Jeffrey "Herman Lynn Louise" Chauppetta.

            Nor, as it happened, a retired long-haul truck-driver, A. G., "affectionately called 'Mookie' by family and childhood friends. Much of his day was spent texting or chatting on the phone with his children (trying to get into their business) and spoiling his six rambunctious bonus grandchildren," including Autum and DiorMoses. His "face would just light up when he was 'giving a lil' change to the kids.'" (In fact, in his photo, his face is lit up.) He is survived by several "caring brothers" and "adoring sisters," one of the latter named Shawyander. "He loved cracking jokes, and once he was on a roll, you couldn't rein him back in."

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