Be Choosy

Don't Touch the Junk

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            I was just looking through my e-mail account's junk-dump, in case some legit messages had got in there mistakenly, and as usual I found a couple. One was even from a friend. In there amongst all the mindless sleaze. My e-mail should have known better. I feel like I should send flowers.

            But anyway here's something that struck me for the first time: So many of the scam messages -- from someone reaching out to . . . rip me off, to steal my very identity -- were headed "You've Been Chosen!"

            That must work. That must be what untold thousands of underchosen individuals are yearning to hear. And in particular aging, tech-vexed individuals, among whose number I count myself.

            "We have been trying to reach you. Please res--"